Men...... and the Questions

They have the nerve to ask me

The experiment continues.
(see previous posts for clarification, if needed)

And as I am meeting new people

I have found
that men who haven't
met you in person
are very brazen
on the phone

It is worse to me
than being in a bar
which we so affectionately
refer to as a
meat market.

I am going to be very blunt here
because I am in a
not-so-nice mood
this morning. I have been
waiting just for this mood
to write this post, and I waited for several days.

Mr. BD, we will call him
because he has already confided in me
some crucial information
that I will get to
in a minute.

Anyway, Mr. BD, who
drove from Houston to meet me
on Saturday,
asked me last week,
on the phone...

Do you like oral sex?

Do you shave?

What if all you could have is oral sex?

Ummm... if all I could have is oral sex
I might as well be
a lesbian...

and that isn't to say that I don't like
giving or receiving
at my age
and the men I meet
and some of their limited
abilities,

I better enjoy it, or I won't be
enjoying anything.

Although, since my afternoon
with Mr. Duvall

ummm I want all the plumbing working
and I know it can even when 14 years older
than me, and multiple times

how's that for an answer?

Then because I made it clear
that even if he drove all the way
to see me
(I won't be driving to Houston
for anything, anytime soon... )
he didn't need to think he would
be hanging out at my place.
I don't invite people I don't know
to my home...

So then the question was

Are you still married?

and no, I am not, and a sufficient
amount of time has passed
I am in no danger of returning
to my ex
out of fear of the unknown
or for security
I am a big girl, I can take care of myself.

have you figured out his moniker yet?

Ummm ... as for the other question
regarding shaving
I could have really had some fun
with it,
but I just let it fly...

I mean,

shave? shave what?

I have good hygenic practices,
and my legs and armpits
are shaved regularly
as for other areas,

yeah I know a man likes them
shaved
as I do like a man to be trimmed

but did I ask him?

Do you trim your bushes?

no,

Did I ask him...

So what is your length and circumference?

The most important question

Can you achieve a strong erection
at least once a day?

How soon can you regain it?

Will you practice sufficient foreplay?

Have you had enough experience to
have a core knowledge of a woman's
anatomy and how to please her?

Now those are my questions...

and I don't ask them,
not even when drinking
and brazenly having a discussion on the phone...

AND

AND

that wasn't the worst question

Mr. Harley Davidson,

He had the balls to ask me
*I meet guys with really big balls or none,
what can I say

How many signficant relationships
have you had?

yeah, he did

I said,

every relationship has been
significant in some manner..

so he rephrased

How many men had I slept with?


I was stunned

you don't ask a woman or a man
that question

if they are the opposite sex
and only a man
who has had fewer women
than he can count on his hands
would ask that question

so I turned it right back on him

and asked him

of course

he showed me his cards
as in 4 and he married all 4 of them

NEXT>>>>


and no, I didn't answer him,
nor will I share it here.

You know, I have done my fair share
of blind dates,
or meeting someone and
going out before I know
anything about them.

I am very choosy about the
questions I do ask

that isn't to say that I am
not curious

about many things
but I also know that
I don't want to have


the big
Life History over
dinner conversation

only to not have a second date
either his choice or mine

so I don't ask those questions
like
what his vocation is
number of siblings
amount of time since divorce
(although, I am finding I should
ask this one first thing, it is the
one that impacts me the most)

and so on

Muse fusses at me, when
I cannot tell her vivid details
about a new guy,
regarding the ways we usually
sum up a person

Where does he live
what does he do

etc.

I am looking at the inside
what he does,
where he lives,
doesn't matter
as long as he is happy doing it
and likes his neighborhood
and is neighborly.

So...

the fastest way to stir
up my
inner bitch
is to ask those questions above

Anecdote:

Mr. Harley Davidson asked
me his question at dinner.
I came home and the next
morning, I was in the shower
trying to figure out how to write
a post about it
and had the thought,
the only question I would find
as offensive
was if I shaved...

and then, not two hours later
I was asked that one too...

Now I know you guys want to know
just as I want to know the ones I wrote
but I would never ask bluntly, on the phone
I would discover

and you should too...

right after you ask the question about
communicable diseases and birth control.
That is appropriate before sex has begun, not after...

PS> Mr. BD?

Broken Dick, hence the questions
he can't get it up anymore...

Let's see, I am 43, my grandmother is
97, that is over 50 more years
I may live... and with sex so...
ummm no, I want the plumbing working

NEXT....