Friday, June 30, 2006

Friday Fantasy Two

Disclaimer: Somewhat graphic and may not be suitable for some readers. I was asked by Walker to give more detail and I was asked by Muse to leave her out of it, so I chose her least favorite time of day to make love or have Wicked Witch Sex as she would say... which is one of my favorite times these days...

Sleeping warm and cozy next to a very sexy man in the wee hours of the morning.
Slowly I wake up, slowly becoming conscious, then opening my eyes to see this wonderful man in the bed with me.
We have been sleeping so well together in last few days without our wretched usual insomnia.
I run my hand over his chest and stomach lightly admiring his beautiful hairy chest and flat stomach.
As my hand reaches lower I find that he is quite aroused early this morning so I decide to give him a hand.
As I caress him, he begins to throb even harder so I take his balls into my hand and caress them lightly stroking the line between them and his ... well you know.Obviously he stirs and turns to me then starts kissing me with long deep kisses exchanging breaths while kissing.
He turns and rolls me on top of him.
I sit up and take him into me fully then lean down so he can take my nipple into his mouth and suck on it like there is no tomorrow...
We begin to move faster and faster, the sweat and bodily juices oozing from us.
Looking into each other eyes and each other's smile.
Then as I explode into a raging throbbing orgasm he stops and feels me grab his penis with strong spasms.
He rolls then me over putting me on my knees then entering me from the back and beginning to pound himself into me.
We are both moaning with pleasure and he comes with such strength it makes us both cry out in ecstasy.
He turns me over and we fall in a heap laying there together, kissing, caressing, and then we begin to talk about our day.We decide to walk down to the beach, spend some time in the surf and see what comes up.
We get out of bed, rinse off in the shower where he has this overwhelming desire to sit down in the shower and put one of my legs over his shoulder and pleasure me with his tongue while the water from the shower flows over the two of us.
It is the most amazingly intense orgasm that has me grabbing the walls, pushing my clit into his face and moaning loudly.
He moves away with a huge grin on his face which is greeted with my smile and long wet kisses when he stand up.
I wash him all over and he does the same for me.
Stepping out of the shower we dry off and put our swimsuits on, shorts and tshirts.
We slip on our water shoes and head out the door and straight to the water. The hut we are staying in is on a secluded part of the beach so there aren't any other people around.
If anyone does happen by but it’s unusual.
We stick our toes in the water and walk along in the shallow pristinely clear water holding hands but stopping to kiss and his kisses bring me to my knees every time.
They are long, deep, passionate and each time he surprises me with how wonderful they are.
You don't find those kind of kisses every day.We walk up to a small boat.
Climbing in and we start rowing, the waves are small and not too strong that we can't row a few hundred feet from the shore.
The water is still very clear and you can see the sea life over the edge of the boat.
We have on life jackets so we decide to jump in the water and cool off and get a closer look at the sea bottom.
We jump out of the boat with a rope tied to our waists and the boat so it won't float away from us.
We bob in the luke warm water looking at the fish just under us.
The flounder who move across the sandy bottom trying to camouflage themselves, the manta rays in the distance and the other sea life that wanders by us... as we are watching I feel him sneak up behind me with his hands on my waist.
He starts kissing on my neck then moves to my ear and his hands move to my breasts and he starts kneading my nipples between his fingers.
I moan with pleasure and turn around to be able to slip my hand in his swim trunks and stroke him until he is ready for me, while we kiss and caress each other.
He slips off his trunks and throws them in the boat then he gently removes the straps of my swimsuit and pulls it down.
He takes my nipples in his mouth and free hand and continues to pull my swim suit off with my help and we throw it in the boat as well.
We are floating in the water as I lay back and let him pull my legs toward him with his rock hard dick ready to enter me.
As I take him in I lean up and grab his shoulders.
We use each other as leverage and make love slowly feeling the water around us, enjoying each other with the sun beating down.
In this beautiful setting we say lovely little things to each other and as things begin to evolve we move faster and faster until we are both at the edge of exploding then we smile and collide in unison then come one after another... We hold each other with him still inside me after we have finished, talked and laughed while looking at each other knowing we are the last great loves of our lives and what a great life we have together.
We decide to return to the beach to sit in the sun and plan what we will cook for dinner.
He will fish and I will play in the sand like a small child so happy that the cares of the world and all the stress of prior days are gone.We pull away from each other he jumps in the boat and throws me my swimsuit.
We put them back on and he helps me into the boat.
We row silently back to shore and go about our day knowing that tomorrow will be similar and just as great.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

What Stage Are You On?

Or... My horoscope for the day says it all...

Handling those wild feelings may take the bravery of a lion-tamer, but getting your matters of the heart in order will allow you to see the situation in a more productive way. Then you can go back to roaring!

I am at the "Bitchy" stage now... most of you will be glad to know... so some ranting will ensue and you can read all about it if you so choose...
I feel like if I was Catholic and had to go to confession it would sound something like this

Forgive me Father for I have sinned... I have had very unpure thoughts and wished evil upon others for the pain they have caused me

What kind of evil child?

Oh Father, I am ashamed to say... but what bothers me most is that I have enough knowledge and ability to make "it's" life miserable that I hope I am not tempted by the devil to actually carry any of it out... I pray I will hold my tongue and save my actions to be more merciful than others have been to me...

You know what you must do child?

Yes, Father, I just hope I can do it... and not

Roar Like a Lion in the wrong direction

Anyway, enough of my account of my life and the similarities to the Exorcist and Linda Blair

The rest of my horoscope said

Congratulations! You've reached an important milestone, whether you realize it or not. If you still feel like you have a little bit further to go, you may have an unrealistic perception of your capabilities. Right now, your energy is limited, and it's a good point to take a break. Consider the situation 'good enough' and step out of the action for a while. Recharge your batteries now -- you can always tackle it again later.

So... Walker... I am moving up in the ranks... and just wait til Friday's post...

Sunday, June 25, 2006

I Finally Turned On Some Music

This morning. I picked my stuff that I have on the computer and cranked it up while I was getting ready to join Amused Muse at church.

My brothers were 6 and 8 years older than me, so much of my music taste of older rock has come from what they listened to. Led Zeppelin is one of my favorite, esp. Robert Plant, and his later music as well. I have a mix of about 12 very eclectic songs that range from Zep to Beatles, Shawn Mullins, Smash Mouth, Matchbox 20, Alanis Morrisette, Lynyrd Skynyrd, among others...

Anyway, D'yer Maker by Led Zep comes on... and I listened to the lyrics more than I ever have before... it is like I am seeing signs all over the place or hearing them, or reading them... and this is just one more... as hard as I am trying to let go... it just ain't happenin'...

D'yer Maker

oh oh oh oh oh
you don't have to go
oh oh oh oh
you don't have to go
oh oh oh oh
you don't have to go

Aye ah ah ah ah Aye
All those tears I cry
Aye ah ah aye
All those tears I cry
oh oh ah aye
baby please don't go

When I read the letter you wrote me
it made me mad mad mad
when I read the words that it told me
it made me sad sad sad
but I still love you so
I can't let you go
I love you
oh baby i love you

oh oh oh oh oh oh
every breath I take
oh oh oh oh
ohh every move I make
oh baby please don't go

Ah ah ah ah ah aye
music to my soul
oh oh oh oh
you hurt me to my soul
oh oh oh oh
darling please don't go

when I read the letter you sent me
it made me mad mad mad
when I read the news that it told me
it made me sad sad sad
but I still love you so
and I can't let you go
I love you
oh baby I love you


Oh oh oh oh oh oh
you don't have to go
oh oh oh oh
you don't have to go
oh oh oh oh
oh baby, Ba-by, please please please
uh uh uh uh uh uh baby
uh uh I really love you baby
oh oh oh oh oh oh darlin
ohhhhh ohhhhhhh
Oh baby I still love you so
oh baby I still love you so oh oh
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
baby, fire
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh oh
oh~! yeah
oh baby I still love you so

Friday, June 23, 2006

Friday's Fantasy

Walker has his Friday Sex Post, so I am going to start my own Friday Fantasy Post... so here is the first one. I won't be overly descriptive...

I would love for a man to make love to me on a picnic table in Palo Duro Canyon, daytime, night time all the time... I don't care... but close to nature and for that matter, let's make it a goal... every state park in TX. I saw the perfect spot while at Palo Duro Canyon today. This is not a new fantasy, just one I thought of while I was there.... and saw the perfect table, well almost perfect... It was Day Camp Spot #70 instead of one less...:)

And then there was another one, with another great I would be looking...

Insomniatic Ramblings

Some time between 3 and 4 am each night/morning, I awake in a start, somewhat shaky and have trouble going back to sleep. So, I lay in bed thinking, thinking way too much, thinking way too much about things I have absolutely no control over.

Then I get up, take care of mother nature, sometimes end up here, other times I just lay back down.

It is the hardest part of each day, other than when I initially lay down at night.

I would try drinking to help me gain such a stupor I don't stay up, but I don't think that will work, at least it isn't for the muse.

Well, time to lay back down again and pray that God will give me solace. Sweet Dreams.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006


Sometimes I have the strangest thoughts that make connections. Like in the movie Something's Gotta Give, (and my title links to a synopsis, if you haven't seen it) I find myself crying at the drop of a hat, or less, just bursting out, just as Erica Barry did. My real self thinks more like her daughter, but her comment in the movie that it is better to love and lose than to not love at all... well I am still struggling with that one.

Then there are the beach scenes and the rock collection. Well that is another connection... ever notice that connection and collection only have the double letters difference... hmmmm

Paris for my birthday? no... I am thinking that I would prefer to go dancing, if I have a partner to cut the rug with.

Paris in the spring time... I would love to see the tower.

Summer Solstice

The longest day of the year, and the first day of Summer. Let the games begin. I love Summer... I know it is hot and sticky, but if you have a pool close by and a cold drink and good company... well there is nothing better in my book, unless of course you are on the beach.

Happy First Day of Summer... get out there and enjoy it. I know I am going to try, there are less than 7 weeks before I return to work full time and I have work to prepare before then.

If you are coming by to spend it with me, well, bring your beach ball and umbrella, I have the lounge chairs, cocktails and beach towels and I will even apply the suntan lotion.

It Disappeared Right Before My Eyes

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Comfort Food courtesy of my mom

Home Made Banana Pudding that is light and fluffy and melts in your mouth... 'nuff said... and today, today I needed it, even though I started eating it Friday... This was the before picture...

Monday, June 19, 2006

My Horoscope Today

Well first of all, I applied for a passport today. Never know when you might need to get out of the country in a hurry... so I found this part of my horoscope interesting

It's one small step for your love life, one giant leap for your overall philosophy of the heart. What seems like a relatively insignificant happening leads to an advance in your thinking that will really take you places.

And then, given my present situation or condition of the heart, it said...

Things that are way beyond your control might be bumming you out especially hard, but try not to get discouraged: There is always hope. Take a brighter, more peaceful approach and talk things out with the people around you who feel the same. Together, you can all get on a happier topic and turn even the sourest lemons into delicious, sunshiny lemonade. There's an inspiring force deep inside of you, and it can only be revealed through a trial.

So Amused Muse and I talked, and I think that bottling it all up inside for the last few days has just made it fester... it helped to get it out, at least what had built up...

Nights are still difficult, and so are other key times of the day.... but at least my face isn't one big puffy, teary-eyed mess all day long now...

I don't usually pay a whole lot of attention to my horoscope, but I found a bright spot in this one, so it can't be all bad. Of course how I read it, and how you read it, well... those are two different things aren't they?

Sunday, June 18, 2006

What IF

I will always wonder that about several things, but one of late as well.

You will always wonder it too... all of you about something... but one person about one thing specifically.

I have linked this post to an adventure that showed up as I was surfing blogs...

The Great Wall

I am at one metaphorically, but these two guys are there physically... it is a great blog, check it out. But stop long enough here to tell me something you wonder What IF about...

Miss M and Miss H

Miss M sat down at the table and sighed... thinking... I can't let HER know, so let's see what else we can do. I know! I will take HER shopping for mundane things I need for school, then we will drive around and visit all the places I have lived and take pictures of them. After that we can go down to the Music Box aka head shop and look around. She has strong feelings for the place as well. She will like that. It will lift her spirits.
So off they go.
Miss M stops and gets a liter Diet Coke in a bottle, a cup of ice, and a straw... after all they have not had anything to drink this morning and she thinks it might bring a smile.
The phone rings, Miss M silences it... no reminders needed right now, she has a mission to keep HER from knowing, for just a little while.
Miss M takes pictures all over town. There are several houses they have lived in and she has a grand time remembering where they all are. She tries to drive them by the dance hall they practically lived in when they were younger, but it is now an adult video store with a huge fence around it so she couldn't take a picture of it. She stops at the Music Box where they both like looking around. She realizes she has been visiting this store since before any of the employees were born, which makes them both a bit sad.
She looks at tattoos, decide on one, and where to put it (a first) but she wants a better design and leaves to go home and draw one between the two of them. It was a good distraction though, they were in there over an hour.
After several hours out of the house and having done and thought about many different things,
on the way home Miss H tugs on Miss M and says...
Thank you, for pretending that everything is alright and not letting me feel the hurt for just a few hours, but it is back now.
And they both cry.
Miss M? My Mind
Miss H? My Heart

Friday, June 16, 2006

There's a Hole

There's a hole

There's a hole in my heart

A enormous cavern

A true dark and deep abyss

There's a hole

There's a hole in my heart

where my soul mate stirred

his soul and mine to create one

There's a hole

A hole in my soul

When he is not here

With me in mind and Spirit

There's a hole

A hole in my soul

And nothing nor anyone

Can ever again fill it

A Prayer

Why? Lord

I don't understand

I may never understand

In my heart I know that whatever happens is your will, and it is all planned out for us when we are born and there is a plan, a way, a will, your will... but why this, why now, why me?

I know there are others with troubles much greater and needs much deeper. I am just a broken person asking you to help me heal, to bring me back to you and carry me until I can carry myself again.

Please take the pain away, please take the hurt away, please help me understand your will.

Please be with all of those who are in my life or have touched my life and help them heal as well.


Sunday, June 11, 2006

Tag, I'm IT

Walker had such a nice blog post about his Bond Girls and I was one of them. So, to answer his tag, that he supposedly got from Skye, who knows when, because I didn't see it on her blog recently, here are my five blogger friends...of sorts, and pictures to go with them. I have a few comments about each one and what they have brought to my life.

RJ, or Rocks for Jocks has been a friend of mine for over a year. We met via an internet dating site. We went out on several dates and although I was really impressed with him as a person, there were no sparks for me with him. This picture is a great depiction of him. He will claim "still waters run deep" and that is true, I learn something new about him all the time, like today it was what a great student of psychology he was while in college has stuck with him and we can study our behaviors with each other. From now on, any prospective suitors of mine will have to pass his analysis interview before getting very far with me.... I trust him like no other person I have ever known, with my money, my home, my prized possessions, and my friendship. I am proud to say that I introduced him to the most wonderful woman in the world and they are starting a journey together that I hope will last him the rest of his life, he deserves only the best. The fire for the fire in his heart and a temper to protect the ones he loves. The moon for the part of him that is so romantic and thoughtful and lofty aspirations he has for himself and those he loves.

Walker, even though we have known each other a short amount of time, I feel completely safe in sharing my thoughts with you. You have created this rough and rugged suit of armor that you have worn most of your life, but those who know you, well we know that deep down inside you are a pussycat, and I mean that in the best way. You have come through a rough time and have been helping me come through a similar situation with great finesse and care. I have been so happy to find you online on certain days and sad on those days you have chosen to have a life away from the computer. I have chosen a picture that says it all, based on the moniker you have given yourself... I hope it finds you laughing.

Jo at La Laquet has been so kind to me. She has shared teaching stories, given me great websites to visit, made me laugh at her great writing on her blog and shared her life via her blog with me almost daily for several months. She brightens my day very often and doesn't even know it. I looked for a picture under la laquet, not knowing what that means in French and found a picture that depicts her spirit for me. Peaceful, loving, and caring, who enjoys laughter and love and has a great heart. I don't always post a comment on her blog, but I do always read it and wonder where she is when she doesn't have a new post over several days. Her pictures always take me away to another place and time and make me wish I could be in them.

Steve's Nude Memphis blog is one of my favorites to look and see what is racing through his mind. This picture pretty much says it all... deep, or funny or just a little racy, but never boring... Thanks Steve for giving me something to think about and music to listen to.

And last, and someone who is a great big part of my life, but doesn't have her own blog, but comments on mine and gives me great blog material.... The amused muse. She is difficult to describe. RJ mentioned to his umm... well... the woman he is seeing,... who won't let me call her his girlfriend... that I was spending time with her yesterday and she didn't know the muse, even though she knew me, and RJ said it was hard to describe her... it is... but here is my attempt... she is funny, cerebral, with great joke making and silly new word creations, who laughs, cries, commiserates and celebrates her life and mine with me. I am glad she is a part of my life and if I had a sister, I would want someone just like her. We will grow old together and take care of each other til the end of our days. This picture shows a voracious reader, with big dreams, and the bed...well it is symbolic for her, but you get it don't you?

My blogging has taken on a life of it's own... it is serving a purpose, for me to spill some of what is in my head out and let it go... sometimes it works better than others.

Things have crept up that beg the question whether I should blog or not and what is "infringement" on others, but it is my life and if I want to write about it, I will, as long as everyone has a nickname, I think it is ok. I am sorry if you don't agree... then you can write whatever you want on your own blog... I am so grateful to have the few really good friends, pseudo or not, I have found here, and wish some of the ones who have disappeared only the best... but I do miss Alex Trex and Roxxy and hope they are both doing well...

Goodnight and Goodluck, until my journey begins, in a few days, I will not be around... pray for me and my well being as I travel and try to heal a broken heart.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Two Fortunes in One Day

Ok, so what can I say, I ate the first cookie, contemplated the Fortune, which wasn't that bad, it was pretty right on the money, but as we got up to leave.... yeah, I ate lunch with The Muse at Pei Wei, the lighter version of PF Changs... as we got up to leave, I picked up another one, since I was craving things of sweet. Of course, The Muse said

Oh, you didn't like the first fortune, so you got another one?

defending myself, I said

I liked the first one fine, just still wanting something sweet

But hey, the second one was even better

#1 Fortune

In every enterprise, consider the outcome bed

#2 Fortune

Prepare yourself for a change of events in your personal life .... in bed

The Book of Love

There is a song that is on the sound track from Shall We Dance and everytime I listen to it, I cry. Right now I am crying often, so I would like to share the song with you and if you can find a mp3 of it or somehow to hear it, you will like it even more.

I know it is sappy, but I am sappy right now and my sap is leaking out through my eyes.

The book of love is long and boring
No one can lift the damm thing
It's full of charts and facts and figures
and instructions for dancing
But I
I love it when you read to me
And you
You can read me anything

The book of love has music in it
In fact that's where music comes from
Some of it is just transcendent
Some of it is just really dumb
But I
I love it when you sing to me
And you
You can sing me anything

The book of love is long and boring
And written very long ago
It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes
And things we're all too young to know
But I
I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
And I
I love it when you give me things
And youYou ought to give me wedding rings
And I
I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
You ought to give me wedding rings