Monday, September 17, 2007

One Great Surprise

He called early in the day
around 10 am
and asked what she was doing
that afternoon
and she said
I think I will drive South
for the afternoon
and he laughed

They devised a plan
and she began her preparations

She drove south
wearing a very provocative
White top that was low cut
sleeveless and
tight, ok, kinda tight

with a great floral
black and white print
that was sheer and flowing
and lined with a black slip like lining
and commando

the music was loud
she was thrilled
to have a great afternoon
to look forward to
with great company

somehow she missed the call
but saw that she had
and it was him
he was there
he was going to get in the shower
but he left the door open
and would call back if
she didn't show up
before he got out of the shower

and she looked at the mileage
and knew she would be a bit late
so she waited for him to return
the call
and he did
and she said that she would be there
in 10 minutes or so
and she drove a little faster

When she arrived
she got her things together
and walked toward the door
Usually she knocked
and he answered
with a kiss and a hug waiting
but today
today the door was not shut well
and she knocked
and pushed on the door a bit
and as the door opened
she saw him
sitting on the bed
with the sheets turned down
and all he had on
was a smile

she was so tickled
she laughed
and walked in
shut and locked the door
and walked over to him.
She was beaming
he brought his A game
as he always did
and she told him
how much she liked
her surprise
and he told her
she was tardy
and was going to receive
a tardy slip
and she said she would see
if he would change that
to an excused tardy
as she stradled him on the bed
and he realized
she was just as ready
to make love to him
as he was to her....

Some great surprises
make up for some Crappy ones

and she received a
rescended tardy slip
and a gold star to boot

She can't wait til she is
summoned for a conference
down south again...
which won't be long
because they will be celebrating
his birthday very soon..

OK I Just Don't Get It

Last Fall
as you know
if you have been reading
for awhile
or have read the archives
I met two men
well actually
I met many more than two
but I met two
that I really liked
and if the first one

Mr. Turnaround
had paid more attention
more often
I would not have met
any after him
but his presence
or appearances
were sporadic
so yes, I met two men
Mr. Turnaround
and Mr. Sullivan
and they both turned my head
I was smitten with them both
Mr. Sullivan appeared
after Mr. Turnaround
and departed before
for reasons that I truly believe
had nothing to do with me
but issues with his father's health
and the stress that puts on a man child
when their father is in a vulnerable position
but who knows
maybe that is just wishful thinking on my part

Anyway, about a month ago
Mr. Sullivan calls
out of the clear blue sky
and wants to see me

I have eluded to this meeting with him
but I hadn't told the story

So we decided that he would pick me up
and we would go for drinks
so I could hear the story
of the dream he had about me
while on vacation in Canada

He picks me up
he has gained so much weight
I almost don't recognize him
he is jovial
we arrive at our destination
order drinks
he explains the dream
which was a combo of things
he had been reminded of me
in two different circumstances
so I am not surprised about the dream,
so the conversation turns
to me, and school and life
and then it starts
he asks many questions
he asks about other men
that he has known I was seeing
when I saw him
you see
he asked then
and found out about Mr. Turnaround
and Mr. Duvall
because he wanted me to
see only him
and I didn't want to quit seeing Mr. Turnaround
As for Mr. Duvall
that is a given
that it will end permanently
the minute a man wants a relationship with me
and I want one with him
it has stopped before
so that isn't a big deal
he asked
I explained that Mr. Turnaround
found others that he wanted to spend
his time with
even after asking me
to be patient and wait for him
this summer
which I tried to do
I am just not good at it
patience that is
the questions continue
and I want to scream
WHY? why do you want to know
what is it you want?

I mean this isn't my first rodeo
a man calls or writes
says he has a story to tell
says he wants to see you to tell it
he is testing the waters right
to see if you want to see him
and to see if he still wants you...
so Why?
why ask these questions?
We have had about 3 drinks now
and I hadn't eaten all day...
and he had mentioned dinner
but when I ask
why he was having drinks with me
early on a Friday night
did he have plans later
it came out that there was
a poker game he was contemplating
and then he couldn't get me home
fast enough
and by the time we were in the car
the tears came
they were a combo
of stress, anxiety
and feeling rejected
he expressed a desire
to be friends and do things together
and I told him I don't do that well
with men that meant so much more
to me
because rarely can I separate those feelings
and he has friends
and to be a friend takes as much
or more work
than a relationship between lovers
and confidants
and I didn't think he could do it
but if he wanted to try
we could

yeah... that didn't pan out
he didn't even try
and that was fine
but then
I heard from Mr. Turnaround
who said we should have a glass of tea
of course he is a man
of much fewer words
and that is the meeting I wrote of
I don't know his motivation
He slipped away
for reasons I still don't know
guess I wasn't woman enough
or the fact I like to hear a man's words
and he shared so few
that I made some up for him
that were not the right ones
and I over reacted to some situations
in ways I am not proud of
he said
things just didn't turn out
for whatever reason
so I don't know
all I know is
that I am glad
that there aren't any others
who can call me up like that
and see me
just to see
what I am not sure
but stir up emotions
that I thought were pretty much gone
and then walk away

I am not up for that again
anytime soon.

I think this not dating thing
is going better than I ever would
have expected
I quite enjoy not being
worried about what he is thinking
and wondering if or when he will call

and the time and energy I was pouring
yes, Mr. Turnaround, pouring
into thoughts and actions
and wanting things to be good
with someone who wasn't on the same page
can now go somewhere else
and has been for awhile
so those things are hard to give up now

so yes, I wished I was doing other things
but only because they were going to show progress
and sitting and shooting the bull
was not
It was good to see him
It was painful to feel all the old feelings rise to the surface
and be able to tell
they weren' t for him...

but now it is over
and I can move forward
even though I don't get it
I don't understand what they
thought they were going to gain
or what they did gain
by seeing me
but if it was to help them move forward
then I hope they do understand it
and it was helpful.

RJ has rarely steered me wrong
and his take on both situations
was the same
but if I listen to what he said
I feel even more rejected
because he says
they were testing the waters
about dating me again
and I remember a time
when he hadn't met the woman
of his dreams
and he was contemplating looking up
an old girlfriend
and taking her back
and I so
DO NOT want to be that person...
and even then
I told him
not to...

don't do it just because you are lonely
and don't want to be alone
don't settle...
and see
he didn't
and he met the woman of his dreams

but since neither of them
Mr. T or Mr. S
explained their intentions
I don't know
and I still don't get it.

The Days get away from me

and now it is getting darker earlier and earlier.
I did get my walk in on Saturday
but gave up my walking time last night
for the opportunity for a door to close.
A door to my past.

now that is done, so perhaps my walking will commence.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

The Vision

It had been a long day
She was exhausted
Her bed was so inviting,
she propped her head up
on two fluffy pillows
laid down
in her freshly laundered sheets
with nothing but her nude body
to enjoy the softness of
the white cotton
500 count sheets

The TV was on Court TV
with the soft voices detailing
the most outlandish crimes of passion.
She intended to watch for 30 minutes or so
and then go to sleep.

The mattress moved as his body
weight pressed against it
She felt the shift in the bed
she turned to him
he took her body into his arms
and held her close
softly kissing her forehead
and cheeks
her knees entwined
between and on top of his legs
their feet softly caressing
each others
she nuzzled down into his
strong chest and relaxed
he continued to caress her hair
and hum to her

She loved being held
the safety, security
and feeling of someone
caring so deeply for her
far outweighed
the throws of passions
when she had survived
a long hard day
with the trappings of
arguments over inconsequential details of life
whether at work, or
with land lords, or
with children,

and here
here in his arms
it all fell away
and he was there
just for her....

then his voice reminded her
of someone famous
Dominick Dunn maybe

and then she noticed
the tv was on
and she had dozed off
so she turned it off
with the remote, and
returned it to the bedstand
took her glasses off
and hugged her pillow

anticipating the day
it was him
and not a pillow.