Pure Perplexity!

WTF... I am suppose to be moving on... trying to get on with my life, and yet I feel very much stuck in the mud and the muck.

I have told everyone that I am moving onward and upward and not looking back. I have made it clear that I am available for dating to everyone I have met in the last 10 days (you would be amazed at how many new people aka men I have met in such a short period of time).
Two of the fellas, one who shall know be know as My Handyman, and the other ... well his nickname is still pending... AM and I will have to contemplate a nickname for him, have called and asked for my company.
That's right folks, two men have called and asked me out. Of course, I said yes, even though my heart says NO NO NO, don't do it, it isn't fair to them, the state you are in.

So, I have come clean with one about the perplexing situation going on in my life and the other won't call back til next week (out of town) so I will have an opportunity to decide how to handle him then.

I mean, if you are practically still drowning because you were chasing a fish in the sea of love and you got tangled up in a net of indecision, you should warn the next fish to be careful that things aren't as cheerful as they seem.

I mean the tears do still come, often and at times I can't expect them. They might creep in while I am in his company, and he should know it upfront...

Yeah I know, I am too upfront, but right now, I am perplexed about why I don't want to get back on the horse, esp. when I have ample opportunity...

Fear of being thrown off again I imagine... well maybe one day soon I will be able to.