By the Light of the Moon

Her: Let's go to La Tuna, we can sit outside, have a lively libation and watch the full moon rise...

Him: Ok

and so it goes... as do they

the place is covered up with people. She had been here a few times before, but never on a Friday and when there were this many patrons trolling about.

Him: oh my goodness, you really know how to pick'em.

Her: well yeah, of course, I know all the hot spots *sarcasm in tow

Him: well let's get something to drink

They have parked and walked across the street and made their way to the bar. A man in tan dress pants and an off white dress shirt is in front of them as they wait their turn with the bartender. The ground cover below their feet clinks when they shift their feet. He looks down and sees that the ground cover is actually bottle caps from years of serving bottled beer at this establishment. Then he steps away from her and the line.

She looks up, sees that he is moving...

Her: What are you doing?

Him: I am trying to find a menu.

Her: A menu for BEER?

Him: yeah, I want to know what all they carry

Her: They have any beer I have ever seen you drink. Shiner, Modello, Flat Tire, you name it...

THEN, THEN it happened

The clean cut man, standing in front of her turned around and said

They don't have the beer I drink.

Her: Oh really, what is that?

CCM: Beck Light

she didn't quite hear him correctly, or did she play dumb?

Her: Deck Light?

CCM: BECK

Her: Oh, Beck Light

CCM: They are going to special order it for me, though and they should have in by the next time I am here.

She is looking at his face, taking note of his height, his hair, trying to guess his age... thinking, how do I let him know this man with me is just a friend, could I say Have you met my friend TED? (if you know TV shows, you know this line)hmmmm I don't know.

Her: Well, that's good

she couldn't think of anything clever... give her a break

CCM: I have been drinking for over 40 years..

Her: Oh, no, you couldn't have..

CCM: oh no, that isn't right, try 50 years

She can't speak, Math is not her forte but she can't believe he is at least in his 60's

CCM: I drank my first beer when I was 12 in a public place

Her: In a public place? so there were secret beer places before you were twelve?

CCM: laughs as he walks off with his beer.

The two of them stand there to see where he went.

Him: The woman he is with could be his daughter

Her: Uh, look again, she is about his age, just jet black hair.

Him: oh yeah, sorry, second glance

They wandered around and found a place to sit on the steps of the grand stand stage and shot the bull and a couple of drinks. Then walked over and ordered some food from the restaurant and sat at another table waiting for it to show up.

She actually had an appetite for once in week. He was glad to see her eat. She watched the moon come up on the horizon. Then a train blew his whistle in several short bursts.

Him: I hate that

Her: What? the train whistle?

he nods

Her: oh I love it, that is why I wanted to come down here.

Him: I don't mind if it is a long whistle, but not those short bursts.

Her: Oh, well, I like it regardless.

She looks up and the engineer of the train is holding up a bottle to the crowd she is among, like a toast. She smiles and thinks of her dad...

Him: Looks like he has been by here before.

They continue eating. There is not much talking. She realizes she has climbed back into the mountains for refuge and deep thought. He is being patient. She tries to think of a topic. Two nights ago they had eaten, or he had eaten and she had picked at her food at her favorite old spot. The Tip Top. She had hardly touched her food, she cried at the table, and he could hardly find a way to get her to smile, much less laugh. At one point she could asked him what he was thinking when things fell quiet and he said he would save it for another time.

Her: So, are you ready to tell me what you were thinking the other night?

Him: I am thinking I should keep that one to myself.

Her: well, ok.... just trying to make dinner conversation, although I thought you would be happy just knowing I was eating.

Him: that is a good sign.

Her: yeah, I guess it is.

Silence falls again. She is watching the moon. She notices the man who likes Becks Light has left and says so.

Him: You know, if you look around, you might can tell that this might be a good place for you and Amused Muse to hang out. Lots of men, not the most attractive women.

Her: They are just a little rough looking, there are some attractive women here.

Him: you know what I mean

Her: Yeah I know

Him: If you want I can get lost and you can troll awhile.

She smiles, what a friend, already trying to throw her back into the sea to look for another fish.

Her: No, but you could, when you see me talking to someone like Mr. Becks Light, say something like "Hi, My name's RJ, and this is my SISTER, Bennu".

They laughed and he said

Him: I can do that

Her: good, I was trying to figure out how to do that with him earlier, but I couldn't. Not that it mattered any.

Again, the silence fell. The moon was huge, full, and bright as it hung in the sky. The breeze was cool, and very comfortable. She sat and wished for things that will never be, and dreaded tomorrow, because it was a special day, or could have been a very special day, and yet that is not to be either.

Him: Ok, now I will tell you what I was thinking.

Her: Ok

Him: I know you are thinking about how if he comes back how you will handle it. I know I told you that I couldn't stand him being in your life after the way he treated you. Now I am telling you that I would accept it, I would try to understand it, and even if I didn't like it, I would be cordial and he would never know how much I hate the way he has treated you. But if he ever did it again, if he ever hurt you like this again, he wouldn't walk away from you. I have seen you hurt from things not working out on a date or with a man, but I have never seen you hurt like this one. This one was different and I don't know why.

She: That's is very sweet. I know you care, and I appreciate your willingness to see me happy, no matter how shitty of a man makes me happy.

She laughs as she talks somewhat sarcastically, and then she gets serious.

She: I took it to heart the other day when you told me you couldn't imagine liking him or not being prejudice against him. I understood it completely, I have that with my other friend too. I agree. I wanted the two of you to get to know each other and be like brothers, but I know that won't ever happen now.
Besides that, I do not believe he will ever come back. He made it clear. I have no thoughts of him attempting to contact me, even though he may, I don't think he will. I know you think he will, Walker thinks he will, and others have said the same. If he did, then I know what I will say.

Him: Yes, but you told him, everyone deserves a second chance, even the biggest bitches in the world, so I know, you would give him a second chance.

Her: To him, she must not be a bitch, or he wouldn't give her a second chance. I know what I would say. It might surprise you to find that even though I love the man, I won't be treated like a rag doll and dragged through the mud any longer.

Him: Well, like I said, I would be ok with it, I would try to understand, but he won't walk away, literally if he ever hurt you like this again.

She smiled as she sat and appreciated one of the best men who has ever walked into her life and what he is willing to do for her, as a friend, and nothing more, although there are strong ties between them and they love each other as brother and sister. That is rare, she is so thankful for the people that she has in her life and how good they are to her. A few really close and good friends are worth more than a large crowd of acquaintances and pseudo friends anytime.

She finished her diet coke and asked if he was ready to go. He was, so they got up and strolled to the car, looking for the people they sat by earlier. The latino women, in their late 20's were trying to get the Kelly Moore Paint man to strip for them. They were really funny.

Him: Yeah, when we were sitting by them, I saw a little of you peek out.

Her: What do you mean?

Him: You laughed, you weren't stressd, you seemed like your old self for a bit.

Her: I wanted to laugh and cut up with Mr. Becks Light but couldn't figure out how to introduce you.

Him: well you and AM can come back and hang out. Can't you just see her here?

and he was laughing

It is true, it isn't exactly her kind of place, but I might get her there, some afternoon.

Her: Let's drive around and look at those places we saw from the grandstand, I might want to move over here and be within walking distance, listen to the trains, watch the cactus bloom.

Some good things rise up out of the bad. Hence the name Bennu.

The moon was absolutely gorgeous, I hope wherever you are in the world you look up at it and enjoy it's beauty.